why is there no repeat button?

the last time i drak a beer was a year ago.
i feel that i don't need to get drunk to forget my
problems or to be myself.

i think that i was stupid to actually drink beer.
but because of peer pressure, i have no other choice
to do so.

and i don't, and never will, smoke.
i'am worth more than a pack of cigarettes a day.

but i think that i'am still not sure what my life is.
i don't know where i'am headed.

and the worst part is, i cannot do things all
over again. i cannot undo the past,
that is why i'am trying my best to be careful of
my future.

i would do anything to have a chance to re-do things
and make better decisions.

but the bottom line is that everone wants to
be happy and for all that it is worth of.

every geek,nerd or loser keeps on complaining
why the jerk gets all the glory while their poor
old selves never gets noticed.

and i always wonder why being a jerk
doesn't work for me.

and being a loser is not a good
idea either.

it is hard to be yourself, especially if
you have no clue who you really are.

it is hard to say hello, if they keep
on saying goodbye.

now, i'm learning to stand up on my feet.
and hopefully, i learn to walk and finally
not to be stepped on ever again.

lonliness could never be explained.
it is something to be experienced.
happiness could never be explained.
it is something to be experienced.
sadnesscould never be explained.
it is something to be experienced.
so as hate, fear, anger, lust, envy...
and love made this all possible.
the universe has never experienced
this diverse feeling of
goodness and wrethcedness
rolled into one. love makes a person
crazy or inspired. love makes us hate
or happy for all that it is worth.
and i would never have felt all this
without you.
and that is why i always loved you;
for showing me what love really means.