i'm sorry

i watched tv today to hear what our beloved president has to say about the tape/cd that went around for a few weeks. well in her address to her filipino people, i could say that

1. she is a good actress
2. she has to read from an idiot board
3. and... oh yeah. she's sorry.

for a person like she is, it really is hard to say sorry and i admire that she actually had the decency to apologize for whatever she has done. i noticed the way she said sorry and i felt that she had a hell of a hard time uttering that word. in front of millions of people, she actually said it. now that that part is cleared, that she was the one in the tape.. what now? i mean, as hard as it may sound, no one actually is yet qualified to replace her. well if either me or ping lacson would replace her, that will be good for the country (i'm not serious when i said i'll replace her) but if you think about it, the transition of another president would again be a messy road to go to. i sensed in her statement that.. 'ok, i made a mistake, i admit it and iam sorry. now that iam here just help me run this country for at least 3 more years and i'm done.' i don't like our current president but i sure don't want to live in a country where we can't have a president that could rule until his/her term is over.

so i wanted to look at the bright side of things. she cheated because she badly wants to become the president and she wants to help the country. good, right. and so, she wanted to win so as not to inferere or disrupt her pending and unfinished projects in the government. we may have lost our trust on her but i want to see changes and i want to see how cheating her way to the prsidency is worth it.

then i want you to look at it this way... i know that many of us cheat in college to pass or maybe to maintain our high marks. as bad as it may be, it is justified by the reasoning of an individual of why he wanted to cheat. and that is to pass and make his parents proud. now if i ask you, is it right to cheat, what would you say now that you also make the same mistake each and everyday.

i don't want people to judge our president becuase we too make a fool out of others in our own little way. she had the guts to say sorry, although it wasn't that heartfelt or meaningful, she did say it. now that her guard has been lowered, i want the trials regarding her presidency to be done and over with as soon as possible and tackle the more important issues of the philippines with regards to our economy and the poverty level here. its useless to let this go for a month or so and once again end in a sour note.

ps(pahabol statement) if there is something that i have learned, it is that 'don't hate your enemies, it ruins your judgement'

barya lang po sa umaga

sa lahat ng karatula
sa lahat ng pampasada
isa lang ang kanilang ibinabandera
'barya lang po sa umaga'.

piso piso lang
isa isa lang.
sakay na!
kaliwa't kanan pa yan!

pakiayos lang ang upo,
may papasok na lumpo.
tabi rito,
para doon.

sakay rito,
baba doon.

tanghali na,
kulang pa ang pinaghirapan.
tama na ang barya,
pakilabas na ang tunay na pera.

sabay sabay na.
sakay na!
kaliwa't kanan pa yan!

huling hirit para may pang hithit,
bahala na ang sikmura
mahalaga ang pang toma!

tama!
tama!
basta driver sweet lover.

mag gagabi na,
huling hirit na sa kalsada,
eto na mga kaibigan,
tapakan na ang gasolina.

teka
teka,
putangina, dahan dahan lang pala,
mahal pala ang gasolina.
o mahirap na,
baka maubos ko ang pangtoma.

tulakan na.
sakay na!
uwian na!
kaliwa't kanan pa yan!

iba talaga sa jeep natin,
hindi lang pampasada,
pang PARTY pa!
lakasan na ang tugtog sa stereo,
sabayan ang piling piling mangaawit
Guns and Roses, The Eagles, Air Supply at si bayani agbayani.

ang lakas ng sounds pare,
parang sasabog na ang eardrums ni mare.
iba talaga sa jeep

hindi lang beep beep ang
busina ng
jeep.

haay salamat, tapos na ang araw.
tambay na sa kanto,
inom ng kwatro kanto.

paguwi sa bahay,
'pasensya na dear, mahirip kumita'
di bale may bukas pa
'barya lang po sa umaga'

yan ang mahirap sa buhay, na pupunta sa mga luho ang kinikita at nakakalimutan na ang dahilan kung bakit kumakayod maghapon. lahat naman ng tao, ganyan paminsan. mukhang wala nanaman ako magawa ngayon. dapat kasi ako nalang ang presidente ng pilipinas, qualified naman ako. 'i can read and write..' ok na yun diba?

engry or angry

i hate the rule in passing lab reports for biology.
we are expected to finsh a formal lab report, along with dicussion, related articles and tyhe like in just a day. that is why i dread lab reports for biology. actually.. its the only thing that gives me a reason to work and study during thursday. luckily, all my teachers are very kind and friendly which is good because i like to gome in class prepared and ready to learn because they give me a reason to. surprisingly, i like math because of the teacher. everything seems to be made to my liking and advantage. the least i could do is study and come prepared in their classes.

and another thing..

meron kasing ibang tao
na nagpapahaba ng buhok
tapos kung tatanungin mo kung
bakit, 'wala lang' ang dahilan.
e ako naman, sinasabi ko na
mahal magpagupit, kaso..
wala naman ata maniniwala na
namamahalan ako sa gupit
dahil 45 pesos lang ang madalas kong
ginagastos sa palengke sa may masinag.
kaya, sasabihin ko sa'yo kung bakit hindi
nga ako nagpapagupit.
ganito kasi yan. isang araw, nanood ako
ng lion king. tapos nakita ko, na si simba, maiksi
din ang buhok noong umpisa, tapos nung tumanda na,
grabe na ang hinaba ng buhok. siguro, talagang hahaba
ang buhok nila kasi wala namang barbero ang mga lion.
pero inisip ko rin na sa pagkahaba ng buhok niya, doon nakikita
ang kanyang 'maturity' at 'experience' sa buhay.
hindi naman sa walang alam ang kalbo. para sa akin lang,
ganun din yung ibig sabihin ng buhok ko. tumatanda na ako at
sa aking palagay, nagawa ko na ang lahat ng bagay para
masabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi na ako bata.

but in the end, its not the hair that defines the man.
he knows he is a man, when he realizes that life
is out there, and not in him.

independence day

i did nothing during independence day.

i did not see fireworks or any of that crap at night.

i watched the movie independence day.

no stir. i also played basketball and went to the mall on that day.

i guess, the fact that i'am doing this things as a filipino

makes the day worth celebrating.

-all the hoopla about gma and her family in jueteng is to some extent true. the rallies and movements are reasonable. but the fact that no one in this country can make an understanding or even a compromise is sad. both the opposition and administration peeps want to say that their side of the story is the truth. and during the day of our independence, i feel that i'am colonized through the diffrent things the government is doing to us. by means of donating with their big names written all over or having special cars with sirens for horns and customized plates. why can't they just play fair and be ordinary people elected by the same ordinary people who they believe could do extraordinary things for the betterment of our country? why should they have heavily tinted cars? aren't they filipinos just like you and me? its hard to celebrate a day of independence once you've realized that you are still fighting for it every single day. the only consolation i have is having an identity, i'am a filipino. the question is, should i be proud to be one?

june 9-what a day

the angels roam around the skies tonight.
and angels mess with my dreams.
because I never have nightmares.
I only have dreams about you..

I love to sleep at night, and never wake up.
I sleep at noon and in the afternoon.
and i let the angels do the rest.

but there was a point in time where I just need to
wake up. and then the angels started to wonder.

why? why end your dreams? don't you want to see her anymore?

its like i'm dead. and how pathetic am I to just sleep
and do nothing more. what do dreams do for me, and even to her.
its like waiting, but subtly, iam rotting in my dreams.
and you angels are doing most of the damage. its quite funny
that angels know how to tempt people and seemingly make it
a good thing.

only in dreams could you be with her, don't you know that?

i'am well aware of that. but i can't live in my dreams forever.
and who said that love leads to a relationship? i don't
need a lover, i need a friend, as of now. because i could
never love a stranger, but it is possible to love a friend.

suit yourelf, no more dreams for you.

its fine with me. i'd rather live in a nightmare with that person
than escape my fears through dreams by myself.

june 9

tomorrow will be another day
just like today
just like yesterday

tomorrow will be a diffrent day
just like today
just like yesterday

I can't wait for tomorrow
just like today
just like yesterday

and i wonder..

ain't it the same for each day?
where i'am the hero, and you are the extras.
it may be a diffent for other people.
but in my perspective, i'am the hero.
collectively however, we are all heroes in one big story.

everyday i wonder. will the story end
or is it always to be continued..

advice

sabi ni mama, "bata ka pa. ligaw.. mamaya na."
sabi ni papa, "sige lang kid, anakan mo na!"
sabi ni lolo, "sandali bata, harana muna"
sabi ni lola, "ano uli tanong mo hijo?"
sabi ni mamang guard, "gising sa umaga, tulog sa gabi."
sabi ni michael schumacher, "basta driver(at world champion), sweet lover."
sabi ni Erap, "walang kumpa-kumaprere, walang kaibi-kaibigan.. akin ka lang."
sabi ni kuya, "kung pwede, sige. kung bawal, pumorsige."
sabi ni manager, "don't touch if you won't buy merchasndise."
sabi ni super mario, "mama mia!"
sabi ni tito, "kindatan mo, pagkatapos, kidlatan mo!"
sabi ni auntie, "juice pa?"
sabi ni manong, "isang pasada lang, tanggal na ang gusot!"
sabi ko, "uwi na tayo mama, dinidemonyo na ako dito."

"alis na kami auntie, paalam tito. til next time.."

->wtf!, kanina kasi nakuha ko yung bago kong pasaporte. tapos may stamp
na nakalagay na not valid for travel to Iraq. tapos may arabic na translation sa ibaba. langya, hindi ako pwede pumunta sa Iraq.

rabbit

paalam, mahal kong dyip.

sabi ko sa tatay ko, tinatamad na ako mag-commute.
e madali pala siya kausap. sabi niya, mag-drive na ako.
tapos wag daw ako mag-alala, by july, insured na ako.
pero parang mamimiss ko rin yung pag-sakay sa dyip
at makinig sa mga bagong tugtugin ngayon(parang kanta).
siguro ayaw na niya mag-drive sa katipunan. grabe din kasi
ang pagkabangga sa kanya. hanggang sa casa, nagagalit
pa rin siya. kaya magdrive na raw ako.

nagtaka nga ako e, kanina lang kami nag-uasp, pagkatapos
niya ipaayos yung kotse. baka pag pasukan na, may dala na akong
kotse.

talagang mamimiss ko rin yung pagkokommute.

kasi:

1. mula college hanggang sa may sakayan(sa may LRT), linalakad ko lang. o yun yung "me time" ko kung saan nakakapag-munimuni ako.
2. hindi ko na makikita ang mga wonderful passengers of the jeepney.
   
3. hindi na ako magkakaroon ng "adventures" na si carlo at mga magulang ko lang ang nakakaalam.
4. mahal ang gas
5. hindi na ako makakasali sa mga strike sa pag-baba ng pamasahe kasi hindi na nga ako mag-kokommute. useless kumbaga.
6. hindi pa ako nakakasabit sa jeep mula katipunan hanggang sa amin. (susubukan ko rin yan one of these days.)
7. hindi na ako makakapunta sa lugar na hindi ko pa napupuntahan kasi maling jeep ang nasakayan ko. (nakaabot nga ako sa taytay e.)

pero astig siguro mag-drive. pwede na ako mag drive-thru sa mcdo ng nagiisa lang ako.

sabi nung iba, kamukha ko raw tatay ko.  

post-it

It's those little yellow squares that
could stick on any dry surface.
post-its. I write on those.
and I stick them on walls, like labels.
I stick one on the television,
or right over my heart.

why?

just tripping I guess.
I'm like a kid who needs to know which is which.
you see, I'am lost. only a few things makes sense.
and these 200 sticky sheets gives me aesthetic reasons
to the things around me.

I like writing short messsages on it.
for example
:call back (some person)
or
:don't forget to lock the doors and
there are leftovers in the fridge.

I like to draw on them or
even make scribbles of things. unidentified things.
sometimes they are sharp, sometimes curved
sometimes curly and sometimes they are alive
and wanting to get out of the paper.

but most of the time, I only write words on them
all 200 sheets of small, squared, yellow paper.
then I just post-it, just like what its name suggests.

I write crazy, and stick it at the back of my dad.
I write weird, and stick it on the toilet.
I write funny, and stick it on the oven toaster. then I laugh.
or I write happy, and stick it on the palm of my hand.
then I slap my head and heart repeatedly.

all those 200 yellow squares.. I wanted to give meaning to everything.
but all of a sudden, I stopped. this one single post-it made
me realize that I couldn't give meaning to everything. it told me
to stop and figure out things for myself. that certain
post-it is still there,
waiting for its time to be defined.

what was written on it?

love

it feels like.. bliss

love is a bliss

as in bilis?

no you idiot, I said bliss.

ohh.. what does bliss mean again?

you know.. happiness. super happiness.

wow, i want to be in love.

sure, then find love.

where?

go figure. just around I guess.

can I find love in the moon?

maybe.

or could it be hiding near that tree?

possibly.

let's find love!

I can't.

why not? don't you want bliss?

I've got homework to finish. and I already found it before.

really? how was the bliss.

well, you were right a while ago. it was bilis.

(applause)clap clap clap

nahirapan ako mamili ng PE kasi wala ako makitang libre na oras. buti na lamang at may PE ako na nakita from 7-8am twing monday and wednesday. fitness walking. hahaha. pero gusto ko sana ng basketball. pero ganyan talaga, kung hindi pwede, hindi pwede. lahat na lang ng PE ko hindi ko pinili. kaya parang wala rin kwenta ang pagpili ng subject kasi nagkakaroon ng conflict. masaya naman siguro mag-lakad ng maaga.



rolling thunder down under
rain is pouring, kaleidescope is spinning.
my head.. twirling.. like in the movie.
join now the lonely hearts club.
we are open anyday down under.
rain is pouring, rainbow is fading, sun is shining.
never again, when it rains, shall i go out.
it only breaks my heart, my head spins, the sun shines.
my home is my refuge, here down under.
kanye west said that it All Falls Down
but twista told me about Sunshine.
rolling thunder. it couldn't be possible.
my heart, it beats slower than ever.
rain, rain, don't go away. i want to have a reason
to stay indoors. don't let other people go out.
join the lonely hearts club, there is only one member.
how pathetic and yet so lonely. rain has stopped.
thunder stopped rolling. everyone is outside playing.
fuck the rain, he's out of the club for good.
i need a new member to play with my kaleidescope.
it easy to find me, i'lll be waiting here down under.

sunshine

When I wake up in the mornin� love,
And the sunlight hurts my eyes,
Then somethin� with out warnin� love,
Bears heavy on my mind...

It's a lovely day, just got paid,
Stack it up, be on my way,
It�s Lovely day, lovely day,
Lovely day, lovely day,
It's a lovely day, just got paid,
Stack it up, be on my way,
Lovely day, lovely day,
Lovely day

after hearing this song on the radio this morning, all of a sudden, rain started to pour. eto nanaman yung isang weird na araw para sa akin. yung kanta sunshine, tapos biglang uulan ng malakas. malabo talaga ang trip ni God. pero ganyan talaga. tapos nung nakuha ko yung grade ko, asterix yung binigay sa akin sa fil. bale ganito yung lumabas

fil 12 *

kaya nagpunta ako sa dela costa para malaman kung ano nga grade ko. e ang kaso, wala si mr. deguzman. sayang naman, alam ko na mejo mataas ako sa fil kasi nagkatalo sa talumpati e, hehe. kumbaga, naglalaro sa may b o a(sana) ang grade ko. tapos kukunin na ni tatay yung kotse niya na binangga ng isang babae na driver. may ilan din na nakakita sa nangyari, lalo na dun sa may kilala sa tatay ko. na ismash yung bumper sa likod. nabangga siya sa may u-turn sa tapat ng jolibee sa katipunan. tapos astig kanina, may nangyaring mahiwaga sa akin. kaso hindi ako makapagsalita. kaya sayang yung chance ko. sablay talaga ang araw na ito. oo nga pala, 5 time champion na ako sa season mode ng nba live 2005. nasa year 2016 na nga ako e. tapos pipila pa ako bukas para mamili ng PE ko. yun lang yung subject na pipiliin ko. walangya. sayang sa oras. pero astig siguro mag ballroom dancing. hehe. kaso wala rin ako kasama kaya hindi nalang siguro. sana umulan uli bukas para masaya. wet ang wild ang mga tao. hahaha